"Sometimes we just try to hard to be somebody else, when all we have to do, is be ourselves"
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Sometimes, being alone ain't that bad a thing after all.
Sometimes, being alone ain't that bad a thing after all.
There will come a point of time, when you feel that nothing else matters anymore. That is an indication that it's time to think and clarify what exactly you're thinking, find the motion and energy within yourself and carry on walking down this one way path.
For me, I stay home, read, do my own things and recover.
For me, I stay home, read, do my own things and recover.
Ever drove into a one way street and you realized that you're heading the wrong direction but there's nothing you can do about it?
I suppose that's what life is all about. I have been in the army for 9 weeks already and everytime I book out from camp, I can't help but to think. To think about everything & I have been very reflective over many issues. I read some buddhist scriptures, lessons on life, values to uphold to seek affirmation and solace that I'm still going on the right track. Then again, what are the things that made up the right track? Or even, what is the right track?
As you have already known, as much as we want the society that we're living in to be either black or white. It's not possible. Unless you're doing some community work or something, then the chances are a lot higher.
I've always lived around the word Karma and believe that getting back at people for the wrong things they did to you ain't gonna be healthy. Ironically it seems to be, I am hot-tempered and often trigger more issues because i lack self-control.
Many things are still running in my head right now. So much that I cannot give an answer to it and the only solution is distraction. I'm just gonna end this post with 14 sentences i received from the temple a few weeks back.
I suppose that's what life is all about. I have been in the army for 9 weeks already and everytime I book out from camp, I can't help but to think. To think about everything & I have been very reflective over many issues. I read some buddhist scriptures, lessons on life, values to uphold to seek affirmation and solace that I'm still going on the right track. Then again, what are the things that made up the right track? Or even, what is the right track?
As you have already known, as much as we want the society that we're living in to be either black or white. It's not possible. Unless you're doing some community work or something, then the chances are a lot higher.
I've always lived around the word Karma and believe that getting back at people for the wrong things they did to you ain't gonna be healthy. Ironically it seems to be, I am hot-tempered and often trigger more issues because i lack self-control.
Many things are still running in my head right now. So much that I cannot give an answer to it and the only solution is distraction. I'm just gonna end this post with 14 sentences i received from the temple a few weeks back.
- Life's greatest enemy is oneself
- Life's greatest failure is arrogance
- Life's greatest ignorance is deceit
- Life's greatest sorrow is jealousy
- Life's greatest error is self-abandonment
- Life's greatest sin is to deceive oneself
- Life's greatest pitiable disposition is self-abasement
- Life's greatest admiration is self-improvement
- Life's greatest insolvency is despair
- Life's greatest wealth is perfect health
- Life's greatest liability is debt of human sympathy
- Life's greatest gift is forgiveness of others
- Life's greatest imperfection is melancholic wisdom
- Life's greatest gratification is giving alms
- Location:Singapore, Singapore
It's been a month from I last blogged & time really flies.
Today's different. It felt different from the rest of the days. And the reason it felt different was because I felt empty lost and misguided. Guess that sound pretty stupid isn't it? There isn't anything that I can look forward to, and that is obviously depressing.
This is just one of the depressing, emo and negative time I need to go through. I really wonder how am i gonna pull through the first week of BMT. Which I believe is more mentally challenging than physically challenging.
Today's different. It felt different from the rest of the days. And the reason it felt different was because I felt empty lost and misguided. Guess that sound pretty stupid isn't it? There isn't anything that I can look forward to, and that is obviously depressing.
This is just one of the depressing, emo and negative time I need to go through. I really wonder how am i gonna pull through the first week of BMT. Which I believe is more mentally challenging than physically challenging.
Hurray to my 1 month in tekong. Nah, I wouldn't share what happened in tekong because I'm not allowed to and more importantly, I don't remember/feel that there's anything worth blogging about.
Anyway, to sum up this borning mundane post. Army's been good. NPCC made things a lot easier for me to adapt. One of the sergeant was my CIBTC d06 Alpha Squad mate. Hmmm, i need to boast about this, out of 5 stations in IPPT, i GOLD/SILVER 4 of them! Okay, not the pull-up part.
Went to ATC today and came back tired and happy. I took the photos, used lucy, spoke to Mr Lee, met up and catch up with some area friends, helped out a little. So, it's a fulfilling Saturday. It's strange how time flies when you do NPCC.
okay. Happy Birthday Miss Yip!
Anyway, to sum up this borning mundane post. Army's been good. NPCC made things a lot easier for me to adapt. One of the sergeant was my CIBTC d06 Alpha Squad mate. Hmmm, i need to boast about this, out of 5 stations in IPPT, i GOLD/SILVER 4 of them! Okay, not the pull-up part.
Went to ATC today and came back tired and happy. I took the photos, used lucy, spoke to Mr Lee, met up and catch up with some area friends, helped out a little. So, it's a fulfilling Saturday. It's strange how time flies when you do NPCC.
okay. Happy Birthday Miss Yip!
I can finally come into conclusion that in my life, i shouldn't be hopeful over anything.
Everytime when I think and feel right in something, it will go out wrong. Everytime I feel hopeful over sometime, I won't get it. You might think I'm negative and thus, I can only remember the good. Let me look back.
In secondary 1, when finally feel that Yong Cheng and Min Lwin are gonna be good friends with me, we fell of over a misunderstanding.
In secondary 2, i was nominated Perfect, when i didn't even harbour that thought. Oh, that very year. Daryl Wee and his HCS (Hate Chester Society).
In secondary 3, got some leadership role in npcc, didn't plan and wasn't my goal. Best friends with yuyang since sec 2, fell off with me because he thought i backstabbed him. Now we're good.
In secondary 4, i was getting 30 over for prelims,expected to get high 20 and scrape into poly. Well, i got something better. okay, an example of good things happening.
Year 1 poly. Area 4 NPCC was like the most happy days in np. Expected myself to be in this awesome organization till i graduate and become a HO. The entire area fell off when i was in year 2. Went for scholarship interview for the fun of it, i got it. And now, i'm half regretting it (a realistic person don't look back. That's one good point of being a realistic person).
Year 2 poly. Raymond and Zy joined us. Thinking and hoping that we can bring the unit up to the next level, we had disagreements and yeah. I disappeared and left hurt for a few months. Worked in Timbre and faced those politics. Expected myself to have no friends there except hypocrites and colleagues. I got something more. 2 part timers joined and we began a clique, quitted and still hang out.
Year 3, i didnt have any hopes anymore. I become a realistic person. Without hopes and dreams. Just a realistic person that handle things along the way. Oh, i lost my best female friend. She gave me the hope that we can be friends like forever? Then we something caught up, she didn't even try salvaging the friendship. She just disappeared. Disappeared to the arms of her new boyfriend. Fantastic.
Along the way, this guy I know through scholarship was super nice to me. Only recently i felt that yeah, he can be my long time friend. Then this morning, we had a text argument. He didnt want me to be hanging out ard him anymore. Why? Cos he's jealous. Wtf? Sound ridiculous i know. Shall not go into details.
Look,what else do i have to hope for? Isn't it evident that i can only be a realistic person? I know, one must have dreams and dream big to be sucessful. That really don't work for me. "Live the moment".
Don't get me wrong. I'm not hating my life or blaming my luck or anything else. It is just difficult for me to have hopes and dreams. Usually good things happen to me when i least expect it to happen.
Now, i just got to deal with what I'm facing. What's new?
I lovin' my life.
Posted via LjBeetle
Everytime when I think and feel right in something, it will go out wrong. Everytime I feel hopeful over sometime, I won't get it. You might think I'm negative and thus, I can only remember the good. Let me look back.
In secondary 1, when finally feel that Yong Cheng and Min Lwin are gonna be good friends with me, we fell of over a misunderstanding.
In secondary 2, i was nominated Perfect, when i didn't even harbour that thought. Oh, that very year. Daryl Wee and his HCS (Hate Chester Society).
In secondary 3, got some leadership role in npcc, didn't plan and wasn't my goal. Best friends with yuyang since sec 2, fell off with me because he thought i backstabbed him. Now we're good.
In secondary 4, i was getting 30 over for prelims,expected to get high 20 and scrape into poly. Well, i got something better. okay, an example of good things happening.
Year 1 poly. Area 4 NPCC was like the most happy days in np. Expected myself to be in this awesome organization till i graduate and become a HO. The entire area fell off when i was in year 2. Went for scholarship interview for the fun of it, i got it. And now, i'm half regretting it (a realistic person don't look back. That's one good point of being a realistic person).
Year 2 poly. Raymond and Zy joined us. Thinking and hoping that we can bring the unit up to the next level, we had disagreements and yeah. I disappeared and left hurt for a few months. Worked in Timbre and faced those politics. Expected myself to have no friends there except hypocrites and colleagues. I got something more. 2 part timers joined and we began a clique, quitted and still hang out.
Year 3, i didnt have any hopes anymore. I become a realistic person. Without hopes and dreams. Just a realistic person that handle things along the way. Oh, i lost my best female friend. She gave me the hope that we can be friends like forever? Then we something caught up, she didn't even try salvaging the friendship. She just disappeared. Disappeared to the arms of her new boyfriend. Fantastic.
Along the way, this guy I know through scholarship was super nice to me. Only recently i felt that yeah, he can be my long time friend. Then this morning, we had a text argument. He didnt want me to be hanging out ard him anymore. Why? Cos he's jealous. Wtf? Sound ridiculous i know. Shall not go into details.
Look,what else do i have to hope for? Isn't it evident that i can only be a realistic person? I know, one must have dreams and dream big to be sucessful. That really don't work for me. "Live the moment".
Don't get me wrong. I'm not hating my life or blaming my luck or anything else. It is just difficult for me to have hopes and dreams. Usually good things happen to me when i least expect it to happen.
Now, i just got to deal with what I'm facing. What's new?
I lovin' my life.
Posted via LjBeetle
There is this one thing i have been dealing with, ever since i could remember. That thing will be, expectations.
Ain't that bad of a thing after all. But somethings, it really made me feel so pressurized. This expectations comes from all sources, even if the people around me don't voice out what they are expecting from me, i will know.
Strange? Yeah, indeed. It's as if I have 6 sense or something. Sometimes, when i choose to ignore such expectations, i will have to face whatever after the decision is made.
I don't like. I love the people around me. I don't like to see or know people that i care get disappointed because of what i say, do, decide.
But, sometimes, i need to do things i want to do. I want to do things that i feel like doing. I need to break loose and feel, myself.
I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so selfish.
Posted via LjBeetle
Ain't that bad of a thing after all. But somethings, it really made me feel so pressurized. This expectations comes from all sources, even if the people around me don't voice out what they are expecting from me, i will know.
Strange? Yeah, indeed. It's as if I have 6 sense or something. Sometimes, when i choose to ignore such expectations, i will have to face whatever after the decision is made.
I don't like. I love the people around me. I don't like to see or know people that i care get disappointed because of what i say, do, decide.
But, sometimes, i need to do things i want to do. I want to do things that i feel like doing. I need to break loose and feel, myself.
I'm sorry. I shouldn't be so selfish.
Posted via LjBeetle
- Location:Singapore, 503 Clementi Rd
- Mood:pressurised.
Sometimes, when you look into the past, you'll realise how naive, stubborn and silly you were.
When i look back into secondary school, i felt silly. Those persistance in wearing ankle socks and going against the school rules was unnecessary. Those trills i get from running away from lessons and going to school late sacrificing my education was dumb. At the end of the day, i didn't achieve what i intended.
Looking into poly life, those enthusiaism in the corps, should be diverted into something more. Not that i'm regretting the choice i made, i'm just stating a point i raised above.
Reason why I wanted to blog about this? I reliased that there are a lot of things that are not in our control, our power. Instead of forcing and praying for what we want, why not face what we already have in front of us and deal with it?
Right now, it's set that I need to clear my bond after my army. I will just clear the 3 years and then study again. What's the big deal? I will just be older than the rest.
Okay. Keep this mindset,
Adios.
Posted via LjBeetle
When i look back into secondary school, i felt silly. Those persistance in wearing ankle socks and going against the school rules was unnecessary. Those trills i get from running away from lessons and going to school late sacrificing my education was dumb. At the end of the day, i didn't achieve what i intended.
Looking into poly life, those enthusiaism in the corps, should be diverted into something more. Not that i'm regretting the choice i made, i'm just stating a point i raised above.
Reason why I wanted to blog about this? I reliased that there are a lot of things that are not in our control, our power. Instead of forcing and praying for what we want, why not face what we already have in front of us and deal with it?
Right now, it's set that I need to clear my bond after my army. I will just clear the 3 years and then study again. What's the big deal? I will just be older than the rest.
Okay. Keep this mindset,
Adios.
Posted via LjBeetle
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